inside-out

28 Sep

I’ll admit I’m not immune to talking about others sometimes. “I think she’s an alcoholic!” “So-and-so coworker needs to stick up for herself to ensure she’s got some work/life balance and doesn’t go on stress leave again!” “I can’t believe he said that!”

I look at problems outside of myself, when really, I shouldn’t. I focus outside, on them, when something is going on inside me to motivate my responses.

“Instead of automatically focusing on what is outside, turn around and focus on what you feel, think, and want — from the inside… To operate from the inside-out means to observe and describe the motives, intentions, feelings, judgments, and attributions that drive your response to the other. It is to be in touch with your internal experience” (Short, 1998, pp. 22-25).

If you’re interested, I recommend Ronald R. Short’s Learning in Relationship.

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2 Responses to “inside-out”

  1. Emily Jane September 29, 2010 at 6:52 am #

    That does sound like an interesting read. Something that stuck out for me in “A New Earth” (Eckhart Tolle) was that the reaction you have that is so against something someone else is doing/saying/thinking, is because the same thing is also in yourself, and the power that comes from non-judgment and non-reaction toward others comes from learning how to observe the things that cause it in yourself. If that made any sense 🙂

    • Leanne Behrns September 29, 2010 at 8:18 am #

      It ABSOLUTELY makes sense, Emily. This book basically says much of the same.

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