Transformation

9 Nov

My campus is probably prettier than your campus. [via Flickr]

A year and a whole different blog ago, I wrote about my trepidation to open my dorm room and join the voices outside my door. I felt like an outsider – an imposter – and all these brilliant new people terrified the bejeezus out of me.

Now, I Twitter and Facebook and Skype these brilliant individuals almost daily. A year went by and coming together in residence felt like coming home. We shared our excitement over finding the perfect journal articles for our literature reviews; we came together organically in the lounge at the end of the day to share wine, ideas, and our favourite television shows; we opened up about our lives and cried on the day they told us that we didn’t have to go home but we couldn’t stay there.

I no longer feel like an imposter. Rather, I feel like I’ve finally taken enough school to get it right. I’m excited about the next six months, and I’m even more excited that we are making a point to see and chat with each other. We are almost at the end of this road. There is no more time in residency. No more dance parties in the lounge. The next time we’ll all be together is at convocation, joined by families and friends and people who have generally no idea how much this experience has changed and shaped us. These outsiders have no idea how lentils can create change, or how sitting in a circle talking about whatever pops into your head (without PowerPoints!) can cause you to learn more than you’ve ever thought possible. They have no idea how much time we’ve spent reflecting, either within or outside the scope of mandated assignments. They missed our temperament and grammar jokes and tirades. They haven’t had the pleasure of strolling through the gardens and trails of campus as a form of active recovery.

I’ve realized that I don’t need to like everyone, and they don’t need to like me (which is very hard for my Guardian Protector temperament to accept). I’ve realized that when anyone asks me about how my time in Victoria was, the words “busy, but good” will have to suffice. I’ve realized what it’s like to step back from the hum of every day life to focus on something that is totally, 100 per cent about me – my growth and my research interests.

For those of you who were present for this, there are no words to describe how much I adore and admire you. I am so humbled and proud to be part of this experience with these individuals. For those of you who rarely see posts pop up in Google Reader from my little space on the Internet, I thank you: for your support and your patience through all of this.

There are so many posts I could write if only I had the time, and I want to make that time a priority.

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6 Responses to “Transformation”

  1. mandy November 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    I’m positive that your campus is definitely prettier than mine. I am glad that you discovered all of these things about yourself and your classmates. I’m certainly looking forward to hearing more about it.

  2. MelissaOklahoma November 11, 2010 at 8:27 pm #

    did you graduate? congrats if so!

    • Leanne Behrns November 12, 2010 at 7:09 am #

      Not yet! I had to go to residency for a few weeks… but there’s another 6-7 months or so until graduation.

  3. andrea November 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    The way school,and like minded individuals, changes and molds you is almost inexplicable to anyone who hasn’t been there. And those who have been there.. when you say there are no words – they understand. xo

  4. Margarita November 22, 2010 at 9:03 am #

    It sounds like you really love it there. That’s so important, I hope the next 6 months are just as good to you 🙂

  5. Teresa January 12, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

    Beautiful Girlie! I am blessed to know you and experience part of the RRU journey with you. Love ya. T

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