… on wedding planning …

27 Jan

I wasn’t one of those little girls who planned and acted out her future wedding. I was a hopeless romantic —  don’t get me wrong — I spent hours getting lost in stories about great love. I never wanted to be a princess, but I wanted a guy who realized he didn’t want to be without me.

B and I had a conversation about romance before we got engaged, and we realized that his perception of romance and mine were two different things. He ranted about girls who wanted romance because he saw these big romantic gestures that, to him, just seemed like such a lie. Some guy going out of his way to proclaim this big love just to make a girl swoon. My idea of romance is that his parents hold hands when we hang out together, or when B pokes my nose in the middle of a conversation, or that we talk about our future as we chop vegetables in the kitchen for dinner.

This the type of romance that I want people to see when we get married. We’re not there to put on a coordinated performance of beauty and this perfect love. That’s not what we have. What we have is nerdy and awkward sometimes and whimsical and quietly sweet. It’s bocce ball and cribbage. It’s being surrounded by the people who have made us who we are and who will be there to support us both in happy wedded bliss and in the trying times ahead. It’s not about an expensive designer gown. It’s not about seating charts and place cards. It’s not about a coordinated colour palate. It’s about Journey and lawn games. It’s about people being excited to be there and wearing clothes they’re comfortable and happy in. It’s about remembering all those “someday” plans and promises and officially becoming a family.

These are the things I have to remember when a vendor or potential marriage commissioner scoffs about our future plans.“But I’ve gotten so many compliments on my ceremony — why would you ever want to change it!? What do you mean you’re not going to have chair covers?” Just as in our everyday lives, the goal is to surround ourselves with people who are open and thoughtful and fun. We’re getting there.

{photo by Andrea}


4 Responses to “… on wedding planning …”

  1. metamorphocity February 2, 2012 at 6:19 am #

    Beautiful. I have no doubt your big day will be as elegant, genuine and sweet as you are.

  2. brookem March 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

    sounds like you have a really great approach to wedding planning. being true to yourselves and following your heart- forgetting about what other people think is right or normal or WHATEVER is where it’s at. you’re the one who is the most important in all of this, afterall!

  3. maggie may March 25, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    ” it’s about Journey and lawn games ”

    perfection 🙂

  4. SarahinDisguise June 10, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

    I wish I’d had a bit more of your gumption when I planned my own wedding. In many respects it was exactly the wedding I always wanted, but at the same time there were definitely parts that were all about the expectations of others and not so much about what the hubby or I wanted.

    Good luck staying true to your heart and your goals!

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